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Rating: 3.5/5
Its about time to find out just what exactly “stoner punk” is and Zip-Tie Handcuffs are here to help us.
In their case, stoner part of the equation doesn’t make much sense – they certainly don’t sound anything like Sleep, Fu Manchu or Kyuss (or any of Sabbath-worshippers, for that matter), although there’s a slight metallic flavor to their music. The “punk” part, however, is correct – Z-TH list Black Flag and Bad Brains as an influence, but to these ears it sounds like their biggest influence is Descendents.
“Love Child” attempts to turn back the clock and prevent Milo from going to college and buying a suburban home. Instead, the band hands him a hammer and begs him to smash anything to bits – and he proceeds to destroy numerous things –  from zombies and sharks to corporate scum.
Then there’s other stuff (presumably recorded while Milo was asleep) – “What, B?”, a Suicidal Tendencies spoof of sorts, heavier tracks like “Corporate Scum” and “Shark Attack” and a cover of Yardbirds classic “For Your Love”.
For all of its perceived quirkiness, “Heavy Love Child” is a fun record with plenty of attitude and some serious musical chops on display. Its unlikely that it will ever make it to the top of the charts, but it could certainly enliven a  party or two.
Buy the record: CD Baby | CD Universe

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